so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
