I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
