i just google imaged poop.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
