Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
