toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
