I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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