Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
