I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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