I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
