We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
