Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
