Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
