Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
