what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
