he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
