I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
How external is "for external use only"?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
