i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
