i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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