Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
