Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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