I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
