I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
