Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
