I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
