I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize