I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
