Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
