so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
