one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
