ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
