its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
