hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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