Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize