yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize