Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
