he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
