craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This is my gift to your gina
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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