so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
This is my gift to your gina
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
