im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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