Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
