when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
