Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
