i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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