i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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