Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Lo siento on account of my penis...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
