dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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