im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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