He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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