Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
