Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
