And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
