I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
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