You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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