just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
