we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
